Resolution
by MightHaveSecrets
Summary: Set some time after The Last Jedi: Rey and Kylo Ren finally meet on the battlefield to fulfil their destinies. Destiny isn't always as it seems. OR Ben Solo kisses Rey in the middle of battle.
1. Chapter 1

It was always meant to come to this, Rey thought to herself. The Last Jedi meets the Jedi Killer on the battlefield. One strikes down the other. She'd spotted him from across the fighting almost immediately. He was electric, black cloak whipping as he parried blaster bolts in a manner that made it look effortless. Drawing in a deep breath, Rey drew her sabre and ignited it.

"Kyo Ren!" she shouted. He turned towards her, brushing off the resistance fighter who'd charged him. The locked eyes across the smoke. He broke her gaze, looking around him for a brief moment, then he nodded his head toward a small grove away from the fighting and walked towards it. This was how it was meant to be, Rey reminded herself. Just the two of them: kill or be killed. He disappeared into the woods. She waited a moment, then sprinted after him while dodging blaster-shots from errant stormtroopers.

He waited for her in the clearing. His face was turned to the sky, blood red lightsabre crackling at his side. Surrounded by lush green, he almost seemed peaceful. The absurdity of the notion almost made her laugh. He met her gaze as she approached him.

"So this is it," he broke the silence. His voice was softer than she'd expected. Rey lifted her sabre defensively.

"It doesn't have to be," she spoke, although she knew it was pointless. He chuckled darkly.

"We both know how this ends," he replied, spinning his sabre around his hand. Rey nodded. She would not make the same mistakes again. Her foolishness was the reason Kylo Ren stood before her today, Supreme Leader of the First Order. A silent understanding passed between them.

_This is the end._

Taking a deep breath, Rey gripped her lightsabre tightly in her hand and charged him. Expecting her assault, he brought his own sabre up and met her strike with ease. He twisted their joined sabres and spun, bringing his own sabre around to swipe at her midsection. She jumped back, neatly avoiding being cut in half. She continued her barrage, striking at him only to be met with a clash of sparks at every turn. They were too evenly matched, too connected. She could sense his every move, and she suspected it was the same for him. Her suspicion was confirmed when she feinted to the left, but he met her on the right without hesitation. He _knew _where she was going to strike. Their eyes met over locked sabres. He looked...anxious. She blinked in surprise.

"Rey!" Finn's voice called out from behind her. Rey turned her head in shock to see him rushing towards them.

A fatal error.

Kylo Ren sensed that she'd been set off-balance and swept her legs out with his foot, sending her down on her back. She hit the ground, hard, and her lightsabre rolled out of her hand. Panicking, she reached out for it.

"Don't."

Rey stilled as the point of a sparking red lightsabre was pointed firmly at her throat. Kylo Ren was leaning over her, eyes storming. The red light reflecting off of his face made him look even more menacing than the mask ever did, she thought dryly. It reminded her of the forest.

He still had the scar.

"Rey no!" Finn cried again, and this time she did not look, keeping her eyes locked with the man standing over her. He waved an arm impatiently and she heard Finn collide with something to her side. She winced.

"Get up," he commanded her. She did not move. Defying him when he had a lightsabre pointed at her throat probably wasn't a good idea, but what was it to him if she died on her feet or on her back? She'd just as sooner face her death here, in the grass. She said nothing, and he seemed to sense her line of thought. Sighing, he took a small step back and lowered his lightsabre to point idly at her chest. Rey repressed a shiver at the heat loss.

"Get up," he repeated, softer. Heart beating wildly, she slowly pushed herself up onto her knees. She looked up at him, and he flicked his lightsabre upwards impatiently. Trembling, she stood the rest of the way up. There wasn't much of a point in resisting.

This would be the first time she'd faced Kylo Ren in person since their ill-fated adventure on the Supremacy. His hair was longer, she supposed. The dark circles under his eyes had worsened, demonstrating a lack of peaceful nights. She was astonished to realize that she no longer sensed conflict in him. He was resolved. Perhaps that would make her death easier, for both of them. A long, awkward pause passed between them. She looked into his eyes again, and realized that she had been.. waiting. Waiting for him to strike her down. A storm of emotions cascaded over his face as she examined him. Despite his resolve, he still looked anxious. Looking into his eyes, Rey understood why he'd worn the mask; a face as expressive as his was a liability.

It was that expressive face that had allowed her to recognize conflict in him in the first place. She was so certain in what she'd seen, she'd shipped herself to the Supremacy, straight into the hands of the enemy, to turn him. She saw no traces of that conflict now. He was anxious, but resolved. Perhaps it was a sign of her weakness that she still saw the face of Ben Solo, hesitating to kill someone he… cared about?

"Ben, please," she whispered. She saw his hand tremble slightly at her voice. Rey could hear Finn shouting for her in the background, but she forced herself to stare straight ahead, into the eyes of the man who she was pretty sure was going to kill her. She could see the determination in his expression. So why was he waiting?

Resigned, Rey closed her eyes. She did not want to look into the Jedi Killer's eyes as he struck down the last Jedi. A single tear trickled down her cheek. She wanted to remember him as Ben. Rey stood in silence, waiting for the final blow.

It never came.

She opened her eyes in surprise when she heard him power down his lightsabre and click it to his belt. She'd only had a moment to meet his fierce gaze before he strode forward purposefully, closing the small distance between them and pressing his lips firmly to hers. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than she could have imagined. He kissed her fervently, cradling her face as if he was afraid she might shatter in his arms. The world around her fell silent. Beyond the shock, something just felt _right_. Before she had a chance to respond, either to pull away or to lean further into him, he withdrew slightly. He sighed, resting his nose against hers.

"Go," he whispered, lips nearly brushing hers again. Rey once again opened her eyes, unsure at what point she had closed them. This man was not Kylo Ren. Surely the man cradling her reverently to his face with tears caught in his eyelashes could only be Ben Solo. She felt hope surging in her chest.

"Ben?" she breathed. Loudly and without warning, an explosion in the distance broke the spell. Ben pulled away from her sharply, reaching his hand out and calling her lightsabre into his hand.

"Go!" he shouted. He thrust the sabre into her hands and pushed her in the opposite direction. Stumbling, Rey took one last look at him. She could feel her heart pounding, not quite understanding what happened. His eyes met hers with vast, unspeakable emotion. Flushed, she nodded her head sharply and then turned and ran towards where Finn was lying.

Kylo Ren (Ben?) had thrown him into the wreckage of a TIE fighter, where his leg was trapped under a large piece of the wing.

"Finn!" Rey shouted when she neared him, "are you hurt?" She reached her hand out and moved the wing off of her friend's leg, nearly startling herself with the ease at which the Force came to her now. Finn groaned as his leg was released. She noted that, aside from some light bruising, he was uninjured. She'd never known Kylo Ren to be so merciful. Had he spared Finn because he was her friend?

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he assured her shakily. Rey helped him to his feet. He fixed her with a gaping stare.

"Kylo Ren… he…" he stuttered, "has he done that before?" Rey reddened as she realized that Finn had seen the entire encounter. Scooping up Finn's blaster, she shoved it into his hands.

"Of course he hasn't ever done that before!" She retorted testily. She glanced warily behind her, but of course, Ben was already gone. "We have to go," she told her friend, who was looking at her like she'd grown two heads.

"Right," he replied. He snatched her hand up in his and began dragging her at top speed back towards the X-Wings in the distance. Stumbling behind him, Rey let out an exasperated shout:

"And stop holding my hand!"


	2. Chapter 2

Rey stared solemnly into a cup of water for most of the evening meal. Partly because she had little appetite, mostly because Finn wouldn't stop trying to catch her eye from across the table. She didn't know what to say to him. They'd run back to the Resistance troops in a sort of mutual stunned silence, and engaged in the fighting immediately upon their return. There was no time for uncomfortable questions. After the First Order unexpectedly retreated, she followed their example and ran straight to her quarters. Never one to skip an easy meal, however, she was forced to face him.

"Rey, talk to me," Finn whispered. Most of the others had already finished and dispersed, leaving them with relative privacy. Reluctantly, Rey looked up. A pit curled in her stomach at the anxious expression on his face.

"I didn't ask him to do that," she whispered defensively. Finn blinked.

"I didn't think you did," he replied earnestly. Rey looked away, embarrassed.

"We've been … talking. Not about the war or anything sensitive," she added hurriedly, "just talking."

"You've been… talking. To Kylo Ren. The Jedi Killer." Finn looked incredulous. "How?"

"It's a Force thing. It's hard to explain," she murmured. Uncomfortable, she stood up to leave but paused when Finn followed suit, hand outstretched.

"You can talk to me Rey," he said soothingly, "I'm just trying to understand why Kylo Ren, mass murderer, suddenly decided to kiss his worst enemy. Is it some kind of sick mind game or —"

"It isn't like that," Rey interrupted. "I don't know what it is, but it isn't that." Finn stared at her for a long time. She felt her cheeks flush under his intense gaze.

"O-kay," he said, finally. "I don't know what exactly is happening here, but I trust you, Rey. Just be careful." He placed his hand on her shoulder with a soft smile. "You can talk to me about anything, alright?" Rey felt her heart swell with appreciation for both her friend's kindness and for his confidence.

"Thank you," she said softly. "Please don't tell anyone… not yet, anyway." With a gentle nod, Finn patted her on the shoulder, turned, and walked out of the dining hall. Rey let out the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Returning her dishes to the canteen, she quickly made her way to her own quarters once more.

She paced the small room restlessly. If she was being honest with herself, she'd been avoiding thinking about what happened this morning. On Jakku, what now seemed to be a lifetime ago, she'd held on to hope that her parents would return for far too long. In the end, that hope crushed her. Her propensity to hope beat her down once again on the Supremacy. She wouldn't let herself hope like that again. Kylo Ren was lost to her.

Or so she told herself.

Frustrated, Rey flopped down onto the floor and crossed her legs. She slowed her breathing, focused on clearing her mind of her worries, and imagined soft waves flowing in and out — not that she'd ever had much luck meditating in the past. _Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out… the waves flow in, and out, and in, and out… _The words became a mantra in her consciousness. No matter how hard she tried, though, she couldn't shut out her worries. Gradually, as she sat, the world around her grew silent. No longer could she hear the humming of fatigued machinery or the frigid howls of the icy wind outside her window. Rey tried to maintain what was left of her concentration, with little success. She could feel his presence. Judging by the loaded silence in the room, he was waiting for her to acknowledge him. She didn't know what to say, so she kept her eyes closed and waited for the connection to fade.

"Rey," he murmured, in the same steadfast voice he always used with her. Her face felt hot.

"I'm meditating," she replied, voice weak. She heard him hum in affirmation. A moment later, he spoke again.

"You're not doing a very good job," he replied. Irritated, Rey opened an eye. Kylo Ren (or was it Ben Solo?) was sitting on her bed, donned in simple black clothing, regarding her intently. She could feel her heart rate stutter under his scrutiny. She bit back the obvious retort —that she'd have a much easier time if he'd leave her be— and looked down at her hands. Always a trace of oil or dirt to be found there. She rubbed at a spot on the back of her hand, avoiding eye contact. The air in the room was laden with tension. When she could no longer hold it in, she broke the silence.

"You kissed me." It sounded like an accusation. She wasn't sure if she meant it to be. She still refused to meet his gaze.

"I did," he replied matter-of-factly. Rey rubbed her face with her hands, uncertain of what to say next. Nothing about their relationship made any sense anymore. A conspicuous question (why?) died on her lips. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer. Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard a rustle of clothing, and she looked up to see him sliding off her bed onto the floor. He leaned up against the frame and stretched his legs out. If she reached out, she could probably grab hold of his foot. He was fiddling with the hem of his tunic, giving off an air of very forced nonchalance.

"I could do it again," he whispered, so softly she wasn't quite sure she'd heard him. He lifted his eyes to meet hers. She felt a soft jolt in the pit of her stomach when they locked eyes. He always had such an intensity about him. Rey opened and closed her mouth with incredulity.

"...a-again?" she stammered, rising uncertainty to her feet and taking a step back. Her heart was racing very quickly now. Keeping her gaze, he too rose to his feet. _Kriff_, she'd forgotten how tall he was.

"If you want," he confirmed. She felt very warm under his gaze. Rey would like nothing more than to spit out that _no, of course she doesn't want that_, but she just continued to gape at him. He's changed a great deal, since Crait. He was softer, somehow. More gentle. Resolute, just like this morning. At some point in the recent past he made up his mind about something, that was clear. What wasn't clear is what it had to do with her.

"Why?" She asked the question that had been weighing on her for hours. He took a step towards her, gaze never wavering.

"Do you want me to?" Another step. Rey didn't have the heart to step back from him. She was captivated by his fervent, dark eyes. _Say no_, she told herself. He stepped closer to her once more, until he was a mere arms length away. She felt as though his gaze would swallow her whole.

"Yes." Her words were a confession, torn from her mouth. She'd spoken aloud a truth she wouldn't admit to herself: a mortifying secret. _Yes, she wanted him to kiss her again_.

He let out a soft sigh, as if he were relieved. It occured to Rey that he was nervous about her answer. Despite his assured demeanor, he felt uncertain too. The thought gave Rey a little comfort. He took a final step towards her, closing the distance between them. He slowly raised his hand, reaching for her chin …

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_

Rey whirled around at the sound of someone knocking on her door. She could feel that the connection had been severed.

"Rey, are you in there? Poe wants to talk to you about the Cavont mission," Finn called from the hallway. Rey took a moment to steady her features, then pulled open the door.

"Yeah, just give me a minute. I'll meet you there," she told Finn. He gave her a spirited thumbs up and strolled down the hallway towards the briefing room. Rey closed the door and rested her forehead on the cool metal. Ben Solo was going to be the death of her, one way or another. She took a final deep breath and left the room, trailing after her best friend. A haphazard supply run was just what she needed to put that boy out of her mind. She picked up her step, glad to have a task to bury herself in until she faced with the mysterious Supreme Leader once again.


	3. Chapter 3

A loud zap caused Rey to pull her hand back with a sharp hiss. The frayed copper wiring she was attempting to splice was simply not cooperating. Huffing, Rey sat back on her knees and dug through the small toolkit she brought with her. She pulled out a small nutribar, shoved it in her mouth, then took out a coil of fresh copper wire and set to replacing the shot wires. The nutribar was dry and tasteless, but it was no worse than the rations she was accustomed to. Since relocating, the Resistance has been struggling to build up its supplies and this unfortunately meant that everyone was on half-rations for the foreseeable future. Her workspace, a small crawlspace behind a removable wall panel in the boiler room, was crowded and extremely warm. In short, Rey was hot, frustrated, and not in the mood for a chat. Of course, the Force chose this precise moment to connect her with the last person she wanted to see. Just as Rey was shoving the newly repaired dust filter into its slot, cocking her head to listen for the telltale whirring that would inform her of any success, she felt the world fall silent.

"Oh for kriff's sake," she growled, slumping back against the wall. She could feel him. She pushed the sweaty hair off her face angrily.

"You're filthy." His low voice filled the crawlspace. Rey shot him a baleful look. He was in simple black clothing, sitting on the floor a few feet away from her. He looked ridiculously large in the small working space, even sitting down. He was gazing at her intently. She ignored his rude remark and turned her gaze back on the filter. If she could just listen for the buzz, she could be out of here…

"Rey," he began. Rey waved her hand at him resentfully.

"Shut up I'm trying to listen," she replied. She leaned closer to the filter, tapping it on its hull. If she nearly pressed her ear to the scalding metal… yes! A soft hum coming from the filter. She could finally leave this hellish spot. Nodding sharply to herself, resolute to ignore her companion, she gathered up her tools and crawled out of the hole in the wall.

"What are you doing?" his voice, now coming from the boiler room, startled her enough that she jerked her head up and banged it on the crawl space entrance. Dizzy from the heat and now the stinging lump on her head, Rey sharply turned to the man still sitting on the floor.

"Damn it Ben, or Kylo Ren, or whoever you are today", she spat hotly, "can't you see I'm in no mood to talk?" She stood up too quickly, swaying a moment on her feet. In her haste to pick up her toolkit and flee to her quarters, she knocked the bag over. She pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed deeply as she watched her wrenches, screwdrivers, and mechanical supplies scatter across the floor. She spotted movement in the corner of her eye. Looking up, she saw that her intruding companion had gotten to his feet.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, eyes boring into hers. Rey scoffed at him. She was just so tired. She was hungry too, and she needed a shower. The three weeks since she'd last seen him had been extraordinarily difficult for the Resistance. Just days after their last conversation, a First Order platoon had conducted a routine survey of the planet the Resistance was based on. Although the platoon had not come across the underground bunker they were occupying, Leia had insisted they relocate. Their new base, a rusted, broken down scientific outpost, was barely liveable.

"It's just been a hard couple of weeks," she sighed. He nodded, examining her attire. She was dressed in a too-large mechanic's uniform, spotted with grease and dirt. Feeling self-conscious under his scrutiny, she nervously adjusted her waistbelt. The setting was too intimate, too much like their last whispered conversation about kisses and...

"This is what the Resistance has you doing? Grunt work?" He seems almost insulted. She rolled her eyes at him, cheeks colouring.

"Is the Supreme Leader too good for a little hands-on dirty work?" she teased him. He regarded her flatly, unamused by her ribbing.

"Aren't _you_?" he asked her. She did laugh at him this time, grinning widely at his bemused expression.

"I'm an orphaned scavenger from Jakku," she retorted, "I'm not too good for anything." She looked away and kneeled to collect her tools. "Besides, it's your fault things have been so hard recently." As she quickly rounded up her scattered instruments, she noted that she could once again clearly hear the creaking of the walls and the hum of the life support systems. She didn't need to glance up to know their connection had faded. Shrugging her bag over her shoulder, Rey stood and made her way back to her quarters, ready for a long shower.

* * *

Rey nodded her head as she listened intently to Poe's plan. It was simple enough: the Resistance was starving. If they didn't find a way of securing more food rations, they would simply putter out. Rey was used to being hungry, so it wasn't as hard on her as the some of the others. Still, her clothing hung loosely on her frame and her cheeks had lost the shape they'd gained over the last few months. Other members were much more distressed at their transformations. Everyone looked gaunt and hungry now. A tight tension had settled over the base. Some were thinking of leaving, Rey could feel it. This mission was crucial.

Rey, Poe, and Finn were instructed by Leia to head a covert operation on a small First Order supply base in the Ferra system. There, according to their latest intelligence, was a large and relatively unsecured distribution warehouse containing enough food rations to last them months. Since the Ferra system was strategically worthless, there would be little to no security measures to prevent them from flying into the atmosphere. Finn and Poe would fly a cloaked transport ship and conceal in near the warehouse, infiltrate and secure it, then wait for Rey. According to Finn, the First Order always required the keycard of a ranked officer to access food warehouses, in order to prevent theft. Rey's orders were to sneak into the main outpost, locate and obtain the keycard, then bring it to the ship.

"And just how am I supposed to do that?" Rey asked. Poe shrugged sheepishly.

"Just use the force," he replied, but it came out sounding more like a question. Rey opened her mouth to speak but he interrupted her. "I know, it's not a great plan. But we're desperate. It's this or watching the Resistance fall apart." Rey nodded. He was right. It was a terrible plan, likely to get them all captured or killed. They had no blueprints of the base, no idea where the key was, and no clue what would be waiting for them once they were planetside.

"I'm in." Finn clasped Poe's shoulder. Poe smiled at him. Rey stood from her chair and put her hand out.

"Let's do this," she said. Poe took her hand and shook it firmly.

"For the Resistance." he declared solemnly.

* * *

They were in hyperspace for only a few hours. A few other Resistance members had come along to aide with the quick transport of the rations to the ship. It was still a very small operation, with the hopes they could get in and out without being noticed. It was a futile hope, Rey knew, but she agreed that it was better to risk fewer lives. She strapped her staff to her back, lamenting the lack of a lightsabre, as Poe brought them down gently onto the soft green planet. She was first out the doors as they lowered, glancing around hastily and taking off towards the large brown building tucked in the low trees beyond the warehouse. She winced as she heard blaster fire behind her, but kept running. It was their job to secure the warehouse. It was hers to get the damned key. She darted behind a tree to catch her breath as she neared the main building. She scanned the front entrance, noting that it didn't appear to require any kind of key, and tentatively approached it. The doors opened on her approach. A clinical white hallway led forward. They were empty. A set of stairs led upstairs to her right. She quietly padded forward, reaching out with the force to detect the presence of others. She sensed at least a dozen stormtroopers directly above her. Perhaps some sort of mess hall or barracks. The base was smaller than they thought. Including the odd person wandering about on their own, and the troopers at the warehouse, there couldn't have been more than two dozen people in this building. There were a few other bases on this planet, but so long as they didn't set off an alarm they shouldn't be an issue. The mission might actually have a chance of succeeding. As she crept down the hallway, peeking quietly into various small rooms and offices, she kept an ear out for sounds of distress. They hadn't set off an alarm, and she couldn't hear blaster fire from inside. She had to assume they Finn and Poe were successful, and that they hadn't been detected yet.

"Hey!" Rey heard a surprised shout from behind her. She whirled around and spotted a singular stormtrooper who had come down the stairs by the main doors. Rey instinctively reached her hand out towards him.

"_You will not alert the others of my presence" _she spoke _into_ him, pushing at him with the Force.

"_I will not alert the others_" the trooper replied. Rey felt the relief pour into her. She was still untrained in the ways of the force, still uncertain of her abilities. Most of her performances with the Force depended heavily on instinct and knee-jerk reactions. She stepped closer to the stormtrooper.

"Where is the keycard for the warehouse?" She asked him.

"Officer Braven's office, end of the hall." Rey was elated. The lazy bantha didn't even keep his keycard on him! Rey waved her hand towards the trooper, pulling at his mind, and he fell unconscious to the floor. She wasn't sure how she knew to do that, but she could just _feel _the knowledge in the back of her mind.

"Ever the scavenger," a voice deadpanned behind her. Gasping, she whirled around. There stood the Supreme Leader himself, fully decked out in uniform. "Stealing tricks from my mind and using them on… who, exactly?" he leaned over and peered around her. Rey gaped, knowing he could not see the stormtrooper, but still unnerved by his ill-timed appearance. Before she could reply, a deafening alarm began to blare. Flinching and covering her ears, she sprinted past the bewildered Supreme Leader and ducked into the office at the end of the hall. She pushed aside the desk chair and rustled through the papers atop the metal desk. Nothing. Kriff. She knew that she was running out of time. Finn and Poe must have set off some kind of alarm and it was only a matter of time until stormtroopers descended upon their concealed ship. She began shuffling through the drawers, pulling them out and dumping their contents on the floor. No point in subtlety now. She ignored the thoughtful hum behind her.

"You're thin." He'd followed her. Although the Force bond dampened its blast, she could barely hear him over the alarm. Rey ignored him, frantically searching through the mess on the floor. Finally, she spotted it: a small white keycard, just like Finn had said it would be. She whirled around to face the man standing in the doorway. He pursed his lips at the keycard. Too late, she hid it behind his back. A mechanical voice cut through the alarm.

"ATTENTION: ALL UNITS PROCEED TO WAREHOUSE SEVEN. ENGAGE ALL HOSTILES." The alarm cut off after the announcement, but the damage was done. The other bases were mobilizing.

"Kriff, kriff, kriff," Rey paced back in forth in the ransacked office, trying her best not to look at Kylo. The stormtroopers would be on Finn and Poe in minutes. Even with the other Resistance members, it was still too many for them to fight off. She had to think of a distraction. Maybe a bomb? If she could just find the right pieces maybe she could put together—no there wasn't enough time. She needed something else.

"Tell me what's happening," Kylo commanded her. He stepped into the office. Rey sputtered at him, distraught.

"This wasn't supposed to happen. Something went wrong… the other bases.. sending the stormtroopers..." She couldn't quite get out a coherent sentence. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Went somewhere you shouldn't have?" He looked down on her thoughtfully. "If you and your Rebel friends didn't insist on always running about my bases maybe you wouldn't—"

"Is was that or starve to death!" she retorted hotly, looking around the office for something she could use. "...maybe I could stop the order, or steal another ship…" she mumbled aloud, no longer concerned with being secretive. A firm grasp on her left arm jolted her out of her musing. A black-gloved hand gripped her tightly around the upper arm. Its owner had, unnoticed by her, stepped forward and now clutched her tightly. He stared urgently at her.

"You were stealing food?" he whispered, troubled eyes burning into hers. "Is that why you've lost so much weight since last we spoke?" She gawked at him.

"W..we've all been on half-rations for weeks," she explained. She started in surprise when he placed his other hand on her right arm. He was holding her by both arms now, staring at her intensely.

"Tell me where you are," he told her. She wrenched himself from his grasp.

"What? No!" Was he crazy? He'd send an entire fleet down on her and her friends. They wouldn't stand a chance. They barely stood a chance now. Rey was done wasting time arguing with this man. She needed to go help her friends. She went to walk past him, but he stepped in her path.

"Rey. Please. I won't come. I'll call off the stormtroopers," he pleaded. "Just tell me what planet you're on." Rey stopped midstride. He had to be lying.

"...I"

He seemed to sense her line of thought. "I've never lied to you," he said. He approached her slowly. Her cheeks warmed as she caught his eyes darting down to her lips. It crossed her mind that the last time they'd had a real conversation, she'd told him she wanted him to kiss her again. He gently brought his hand up and brushed her cheek lightly with the back of his hand. The material of his glove was smooth and cool. The caress sent a shiver down her spine.

"Trust me," he whispered, leaning into her. Their noses brushed, and she saw him close his eyes. "Trust me," he repeated. She breathed him in. _Could she?_

"Ferra-9X2," she sighed into him. "North base." He let out a breath of relief. She looked up at him anxiously. Telling him was a risk, she knew, one that could get all her friends killed. She didn't have a better plan, though. Kylo, or Ben, she supposed, cupped her face gently in his hands. He placed a chaste kiss on her lips, so quickly she nearly missed it, and stepped away from her.

"Give me five minutes," he told her. He took one last lingering look at her, then walked out the office door. She blinked at his retreat, feeling the bond dissipating. She lifted a finger to her lips, staring after him. She couldn't puzzle out his behaviour. She shook her head to clear her mind of strange behaviour and ran out into the hallway. There were more pressing matters at hand. She ducked out of the front doors, pulling her blaster, and sprinted back toward the warehouse. She caught sight of Finn, back against the warehouse, firing his blaster at a pair of advancing troopers. She fired as she ran towards him, taking out one of the pair. Finn hit the other neatly in the chest.

"Rey!" he exclaimed as she arrived. "We were too slow...one of the warehouse workers tripped the alarm—" he pointed towards the warehouse door. Rey nodded, running beside him. They burst into the warehouse, where Poe was pacing in front of the sealed inner doors. One of the members they'd brought with them, Lomys, Rey recalled, was setting explosives behind him. Poe looked up at her approach.

"I know we don't have much time and the operation is pretty much shot," he began, "but we can't go home empty-handed." He turned to the girl behind him. "Lo, what do you think?"

"It's a long shot," she looked up at him. "These doors are not easy to blow and I don't have much to work with." Poe signed, running a hand over his face.

"It's our only shot," he replied tensely, and resumed pacing.

"ATTENTION: THE SUPREME LEADER ORDERS ALL UNITS TO STAND DOWN. ALL UNITS STAND DOWN. RETURN TO YOUR ASSIGNED BASES AND AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS." Rey gaped at the announcement. He'd really done it. He must have sent the base an emergency transmission. It had taken almost no time at all. Poe sputtered.

"I don't understand, they had us!" he exclaimed. Rey flushed. Finn narrowed his eyes at her.

"Rey," he began. Rey quickly interrupted him, unsure of how she would explain what just happened to him.

"Look, I've got the key, they're standing down, let's just finish our mission and get out of here!" She strode to the keypad and swiped the officer's card. With a rumble, the large doors unsealed and shuddered open. The others cheered when they caught sight of the enormous store of food rations in front of them. This could feed the Resistance for a year. Poe shouted instructions on loading the food, and everyone quickly got to work, transferring the rations to their transport. More than once, Finn caught Rey's eye. Once they got out of here, she had some explaining to do. Hopefully, by the time he caught up with her, she'd figure out what was going on herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Finn wasted no time seeking her out when they got back to home base.

"Do you want to tell me why Kylo Ren let us all go?" he asked her, leaning against the wall in her quarters. Rey sighed and ran a hand over her face.

"Not really," she joked weakly. Finn faked a laugh, then came to sit down next to her.

"I think you need to tell the General," he murmured. Rey opened her mouth to protest, but he waved his hand at her. "I know, it's hard, but she should know what's going on. It's affecting all of us now, not just you."

"I wouldn't even know where to begin," Rey admitted. How could she sum up the relationship she had with the _Supreme Leader?_ She wasn't even certain what it was. She knew that she was still a target for the First Order, and was liable to be captured and imprisoned if she let her guard down. Yet he had let her go twice now. Kissed her, twice now. Rey groaned, and Finn placed a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

"Start at the beginning," he advised. "I'll come with you. Poe too, if you like." Rey braced herself. Finn was right. It was time to tell Leia. She nodded.

"If you gather everyone in the command room, I'll meet you there," she told him. Finn jumped up with a soft smile.

"You got it," he saluted goofily as he exited, earning a quiet chuckle from Rey.

_From the beginning, from the beginning…_

When did this all begin? The incident on Ferra-9X2 was just the latest of a series of bizarre events. She supposed it all began on Ahch-To when the Force connected them for the first time. The first time she had seen Ben Solo.

"Kriff…" Rey groaned again. She was going to have to tell the General she'd kissed _her_ _son_. As if things weren't complicated enough. Resigned, she rose to her feet and made her way to the command room. Poe and Finn were already there, muttering to one another under their breath. They stilled when Rey entered the room.

"The General is on her way," Poe stated. Rey nodded. "What-"

"Just wait for everyone," Finn interrupted him. Poe huffed and sat back in his seat.

"Is everything alright, Rey?" Poe asked her. Rey shrugged, which didn't seem to comfort Poe. He fidgeted anxiously in his seat the entire time they waited on General Organa. The General arrived not long after, sweeping in with all the poise and dignity of a princess. She wasted no time with pleasantries, however, focusing on Rey immediately.

"You needed to see me?" she asked. "I was told it's urgent." Rey stood at the question.

"You might want to sit down," Rey replied. "It's a long story." She made her way to the front of the room and faced the three others. She let her eyes sweep over her three companions. Poe, Finn, Leia… these three were nearly all she had in the world. She felt a lump in her throat forming as she imagined their reactions to what she was about to reveal. Would they hate her? Force her to leave? Who would she have then? She clenched her fists as _Ben_ sprung unbidden to her mind. She steeled herself and smiled nervously at her friends. They waited patiently for her to begin. She asked them to wait until the end of her story to interrupt or ask questions, and then begin, she did.

"I suppose it all started on Ahch-To, when I was training with Luke." She stared down at her shoes, throwing her mind back to that fateful morning. "I had just woken up, in my hut. The air felt… strange. I can't quite explain it. Like the world around me was slowly falling away. Then, I saw him." She bit her lip. "Kylo Ren, I mean." She explained the mechanics of the Force bond anxiously, clarifying that they couldn't see each other's surroundings or control one another with the Force. Rey chanced a glance at Leia, who was listening intently with a carefully controlled expression. She nodded for Rey to continue. Rey told them about what she had seen when she had gone into the mirror cave.

"You have to understand," Rey choked, "how alone I felt in that moment. The Force connected us then, and I told him about it. He told me that I wasn't alone." She sniffed, unexpectedly teary at the recollection of the story.

"Rey," Finn began, but Leia silenced him with a raised hand.

"Until the end, remember?" She said softly. Rey nodded, surreptitiously wiping her eyes.

"I reached my hand out to him," she continued. "When our fingers touched, I had a vision." She looked directly at Leia. "He didn't destroy Luke's Temple," she told her. "I saw it. A dark storm took out the temple, not him. He didn't kill any of the students. When I saw that, I thought he could be turned. So I went to him."

Telling them about her ill-fated mission on the Supremacy was hard. She had been so foolish to think he would turn so easily. She related the encounter with Snoke, Kylo Ren slaying his master (this earned audible sounds of surprise from both Finn and Poe), and the two of them fighting back to back against the Praetorian Guards.

"When it was all over, he offered me his hand," she murmured. "Asked me to join him. To _let old things die_," she quoted him bitterly, having been unable to forget the words since that day. She'd thought him a hypocrite. He clutched more tightly to the past than anyone she knew. She recounted how she'd refused, how they'd fought over the now broken lightsaber, and how she'd clipped his lightsaber to his belt before she'd left him, unconscious on the burning ship.

"You were on the Supremacy during the Holdo maneuver?" Poe exclaimed. Rey shrugged awkwardly.

"This is too much…" Finn muttered under his breath. Rey's face heated up. She'd only just begun to unravel the twisted sequence of events that led her here.

"After Crait," she interjected, eager to get through this awful meeting. "We didn't see each other for a long time. When the Force connected us, we ignored one another. We hadn't spoken in months when I saw him last month on Romo." She met Finn's gaze then. He had been there. "I met him to the side of the battlefield. We fought, but he disarmed me." Her heart was pounding. She couldn't force the words out.

"He kissed her," Finn spoke up. "I was there. I saw it." Rey buried her face in her hands, cheeks flaming. How could she face them now? And Leia…

"He what?" Poe shouted. She could hear him jump to his feet. Rey rubbed her face and looked resolutely to Leia. Only her slightly parted lips conveyed her surprise.

"There's more," she deadpanned. "The Ferra mission failed," she revealed. "We'd tripped the alarm. Stormtroopers were coming. We hadn't gotten into the warehouse. I was panicked, searching for a solution when the bond connected us. At first, Ben teased me for getting caught, but when he realized how thin I looked and that we were stealing food he asked me where I was." She shrugged self-consciously. "Of course, I didn't want to tell him at first. But… I trust him. He said he wouldn't harm us." She figured they didn't need to know about the peck he'd given her. She could only stand so much humiliation.

"That's why the reinforcements were called off," Poe spoke, realization dawning on him. "I knew it was too easy. They practically gave us permission to rob them!"

"I know I should have told you earlier," Rey directed her statement to Leia. "I just didn't know how to." Leia was silent for a long while.

"You called him Ben," she said. Rey started. She hadn't meant to. She crossed the room to stand in front of the General.

"Ben Solo is alive," she stated confidently. "I've seen it." Leia took her hand, eyes welling with unshed tears. She squeezed back.

"I need some time to process this. You and I will talk more about this soon." Leia patted her on the hand, then released her. After a long, lingering look, she glided out the door, and Rey was left with her two best friends. Poe was sputtering like a dying animal, and Finn just looked hurt.

"I had no idea that this had been going on for so long," he admitted to her. Rey stepped towards him.

"Finn," she started. He shook his head, grabbing Poe's arm.

"I think it would be best if we all take a while to process this, before any of us say something we can't take back," he said. Rey smiled tightly, throat sore, and the two of them followed Leia out of the door. She slid down onto the cold floor, hugging her knees, and let the tears she'd been holding back finally flow. She'd finally driven them all away. They knew that she'd been consorting with the enemy behind their backs. _Kriff_, she'd even told the General that she'd kissed her murderous son! There was no coming back from this, Rey knew. Soon they'd be back and they'd ask her to leave the Resistance. Maybe they'd even leave her on Jakku, like her parents had. Rey sniffed, wiping her tears on her arm wrap.

"What's wrong?" Rey nearly jumped out of her skin. _He _stood across the room, gazing down at her. She self-consciously wiped her face.

"Now isn't a good time." She looked away from him, resolute to ignore him until the bond dissipated. Her heart clenched gazing around the empty room. She'd thought she'd known loneliness, back on Jakku, and in the mirror cave. That was nothing compared to how she felt, in this moment.

"You're not alone," he whispered to her. Repeating those words from the hut, so soon after she had painstakingly recounted the tale _to his mother_, broke the dam. Rey burst into undignified sobs. She turned to hide her face, but a hand gripped her by the chin, forcing her to look at him. He was a mere foot away from her now, crouching down in front of her. Tears flowed from her eyes.

"I can feel you," he spoke quietly. "I feel your pain." His thumb moved to caress her tear-stained cheek. "You don't have to hide from me." Rey blinked at him as he wiped the water from her face.

"Ben?" Her voice trembled. The name came out as a question, but she wasn't sure what she was asking him. He seemed to understand, though, because he nodded softly.

And then he was gone. Rey allowed herself a moment to compose herself, sniffling in an undignified sort of way, then rose from the ground. Whatever happened, she told herself she wouldn't be alone. Maybe that was enough. Squaring her shoulders, she exited the room, dreading the inevitable upcoming confrontation between her and her friends. They would want her to stop this thing, but she knew she couldn't. She was in too deep. For better or for worse, she was connected to Ben Solo.

She could only pray that it was the former.


End file.
